Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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