Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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