hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
