Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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