Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
