Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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