this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
