My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize