I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
