I wannas sexs uuuuu
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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