so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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