What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
