so that wasnt chicken after all
Welp...herpes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
