His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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