Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
