Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
