she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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