well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
