Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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