just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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