I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
