check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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