I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
