You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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