Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
