i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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