distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
