i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
