I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
