when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
