You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize