I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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