actually, I'm a sock model
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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