Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
