I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
