if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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