I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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