Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
