is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
