she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize