I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize