Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
