I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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