what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to calm my uterus...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
