If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
