so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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