so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize