Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
