I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
