My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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