Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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