ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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