5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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