The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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