you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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