i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
