I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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