I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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