I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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