Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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