ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
