Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
