My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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