I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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