I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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