I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize