Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
