Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You have to summon your inner elephant
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
